Oscars Revisited

In keeping with the spirit of my last two posts — the one on Disney (pre) teen stars and the Oscars — I am going to discuss both topics again in one brand new post.

This year marked the first time I actually watched the entire Oscars telecast (I normally watch the red carpet). Oddly enough, it was also the lowest rated Oscars telecast in years. But in any case, I watched it, and it was just like I'd imagine it to be: bad jokes, awkward wins and losses, and some accidents. Perhaps what made it enjoyable for me wasn't the actual telecast, but my friend Casey who made snarky comments about the ceremony to me via iChat. His comments were hysterical and could only come from someone with a love for pop culture.

Anyway, one of Casey's jokes was most likely about Miley Cyrus (I don't remember exactly, though). For some reason, the Disney star with more identities than I can understand, attended the Oscars ceremony. Bizarre, right? Well, in any case, like most misguided fifteen-year-olds, Miley Cyrus normally dresses like a twenty-five-year-old barfly. Or a mermaid. Or a combination of both.





I think this photo is from that beacon-of-taste, the Teen Choice Awards. You know, that ceremony that no one watches where people get surfboards instead of little statues? Yeah, that.
Anyway, this dress is too short and too shiny and her hair has far too many extensions. I also don't understand the print of the dress, either. Then again, when I was her age, I wore band t-shirts and was a crazy vegan. In case you care, I now wear a lot of J.Crew and am only a vegetarian.

Now, imagine how surprised I was when Miss Cyrus showed up wearing this:



The dress is Valentino, by the way.

Anyway, aside from the slight awkwardness she shows in wearing it — but nothing as awkward as the six years older, Ellen Page in anything she wears (will she get some grace, finally? As not-feminist as this sounds, send her to finishing school or something) — she looks perfect. Her makeup is young, sophisticated, and tasteful. And the dress is absolutely gorgeous and age-appropriate.

For Oscars, Miley might have been my best dressed. Katherine Heigl, of course, was a very close second.

I feel like this Disney thing won't be going away anytime soon, if Miley Cyrus's presence at the ceremony is any indication. She has gone from Disney star to actual celebrity, and I'm sure others will follow.

And the winner is...

Tonight is the Oscars, and while the night is normally a huge night of self-congratulations, tonight's ceremony is even more so. Thanks to the writers' strike, the awards season was cut short. However, I think there are a few categories terribly looked over this year.

Hottest Bob Haircut:
Saoirse Ronan in Atonement
Keira Knightley in Atonement
Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compass

The winner is: Saoirse Ronan

Best Bones:
Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Keira Knightley in Atonement
Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber on Fleet Street

The winner is: Keira Knightley

Most couture moment:
Keira Knightley's green gown in Atonement
Cate Blanchett's gowns in Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Marion Cottilliard in La Vie en Rose

The winner is: Keira Knightley's green gown.

It seems that Atonement is the best visual film of the year, which makes up for its horrible, flimsy plot and for suddenly bringing Vanessa Redgrave back from her year of magical thinking or whatever.

I think the winners summed up the entire plot of the film: bobs, bones, and couture.

The Magic Kingdom

Disney World is twice the size of Manhattan.

I'm not quite sure where I picked that fact up, but I'm pretty sure it's accurate. In fact, I find the fact to be rather fitting. It seems that Disney owns everything, and the fact that it doubles the size of Manhattan is unsurprising.




The first time I noticed that infiltration of Disney-manufactured (pre)teen entertainment was in the fall, when while browsing the iTunes store, I noticed that the Jonas Brothers had somehow become one of the most — if not the most — downloaded album that week. For those who don't know, the Jonas Brothers are a group of three brothers — as the name suggests — who have a Disney backbone and a Christian background. And since I first noticed that these heartthrobs have somehow come to be a part of pop culture consciousness, I've been a casual observer of this phenomenon.


The immediate comparison for this "band" — the term used lightly because alone, they hardly comprise a full band — is Hanson. And to a certain extent, I understand that. When Hanson first became popular in the late 1990s, I was the right age to be a fan of the band. After all, they had everything a young girl could ask for: catchy songs, pretty hair, and scrubbed-clean good looks.

Now that I'm older, and this teen culture phenomenon is back again, I am looking at it from a different angle. The Jonas Brothers seem to be similar to Hanson in only a few aspects; that is, they are brothers who are teen heartthrobs creating music. But this time around, the music isn't innocent bubblegum pop that sticks to the soles of our shoes; rather, the music of the Jonas Brothers seems to be only catchy if by catchy, you mean loud, thrashing, and generally confusing. Sure, there are a few hooks here and there, but for the most part, it's like Fall Out Boy-lite.

I'm not going to mock this type of music; after all, it has its place. And for once, I find it nice that there is something out there that younger teens can listen to with their parents without having to buy the censored version of the CD at Wal-Mart. At least this music isn't teaching well-orchestrated misogyny and that a woman's value lies in her body only.

But what scares me the most about the Jonas Brothers phenomenon is that I fall in the same age range as the band. Unlike with Hanson, I am not the young girl who can't relate from a common demographic perspective, but instead, I am at the age as a young woman where I can stand back and gape with fright. The idea of this amount of fame thrust on anyone my age is far beyond frightening.

It's hard not question if the band wants to be making the music that they are making, and it's certainly hard to answer that question with a yes. There are so many musicians who, at their age or slightly older, are making some of the best music in years. And of course, it's hard to ignore how painfully contrived everything about the band seems to be from their straight-from-Urban-Outfitters apparel to their extremely scripted answers.

In all honesty, I feel sorry for them. It can't be easy to lose that much anonymity to something like this at such a young age.

Last week, on Youtube, I found this video:




It's hard to ignore how much it is reminiscent of Vanessa Redgrave in Atonement when she returned from her year of magical thinking or whatever.

History has shown that so many of these teen idols, at the end of their careers, end up in a bad situation. Hanson, fortunately, has survived; the band is married with children and are making extremely successful indie records.

And maybe, just maybe, Disney should stop exploiting young, slightly talented, and good looking teens. This has become a machine that needs to have a wrench thrown it.